I've been "awake" for a few months now. I can't say very much has changed; I have not been able to devote as much focus as I'd like to, and thus haven't uncovered much beyond the basics of what I am and what I used to be-

Or, perhaps, what I have yet to be. It is unclear, and may never be clear.

For as long as I can remember, I knew I wasn't where I was supposed to be. I couldn't get rid of the homesickness, the yearning, or the grief that seemingly didn't belong to me. What did I have to miss? When I was young, I didn't question this much; I just kept myself busy. I was more invested in fiction than I ever was in my own life.

As I grew older, it was harder to ignore it. I shifted my attention to finding a "word". To me, a word would mean that someone else, somewhere else, felt the way I did, and gave the difficult-to-place emotion a name and definition. A word meant I wasn't alone.

In some ways, this was a fruitless search, but it has led me here.

I happened across a community that was deeply connected to the alterhuman (and, by extension, otherkin) community. I had known for a while what otherkin were, of course, but I didn't know much about them. I didn't think to learn more; I was incredibly neutral towards the topic, I suppose.

Because I was now passively and indirectly interacting with them, however, I started to come across posts that resonated with me. I think the moment I realized I might've even been 'kin myself was a post from an angelkin; they spoke about how deeply they missed home, and it mirrored my own feelings exactly, in a way that nothing before ever had.

I also realized that I had exolimbs. Even before all of this, I had this peculiar sensation a little below my arms, on either side of my ribs. I recognize that these must've been a second set of arms, or something similar; some days, my ears feel longer and pointier, and I almost feel scales running from the backs of my hands to my forearms.

These small hints led to my actual awakening this year, although I can't say I can quite remember when it was. I panicked, and for a while, I did all I could to ignore it.

I don't remember much of my home. I remember what the ground beneath me felt like, and the pink light that settled as the sun set far ahead of me, and I remember that, try as I did, I couldn't find anyone else. Is this because I was the last? Is it because they don't even exist yet? Or maybe, at the time, I was alone, and that is all I can remember because it affected me so deeply...

As I learn more, I will explore that further. For now, however, that is all I know, and much of what I don't know.

I do apologize for my absence; the past few months have been incredibly busy and incredibly draining, and I am only now finding time to work on this website.